A Death Row Prisoner’s Parting Interview

On Wednesday night, Texas jail officers plan to execute Ramiro Gonzales, the 41-year-old who kidnapped, raped and murdered Bridget Townsend once they had been each 18.

The Marshall Mission lined a dramatic flip in Gonzales’ homicide case two years in the past. A psychiatrist named Edward Gripon — who in 2006 had testified that he had delinquent character dysfunction and would all the time be violent — had modified his thoughts. Citing Gonzales’ willingness to take duty for his crimes, Gripon informed us, “If this man’s sentence was modified to life with out parole, I don’t suppose he’d be an issue.”

Gripon’s about-face forged doubt on Texas loss of life penalty legal guidelines, which uniquely deal with predicting whether or not individuals will likely be harmful sooner or later. Shortly after our story was revealed, the state’s appeals courtroom halted Gonzales’ execution as a result of the psychiatrist had additionally given the jurors debunked statistics. However the courtroom later dismissed these considerations, paving the best way for a brand new execution date.

Gonzales’ story echoes well-known religious transformations on loss of life row, like that of Karla Faye Tucker, who was executed in 1998. It comes as many main evangelical Christians are questioning the loss of life penalty as out of step with their pro-life views. Over time, Gonzales and his supporters have described his path from childhood sexual abuse and neglect, to drug habit and violence, to religious rebirth. Whereas on loss of life row, he earned a certificates in Bible research, recommended different prisoners in a faith-based program they name the “God Pod,” and (unsuccessfully) tried to donate a kidney to a stranger. “How can I give again life? That is most likely one of many closest issues to doing that,” Gonzales, then 39, informed us.

Given how opaque executions may be, I requested Gonzales about his preparations and what he’s realized on loss of life row on the Polunsky Unit in Livingston, Texas. We edited the June 20, 2024 interview for size and readability.

What was it wish to obtain an execution date?

There was no shock, no shock. I used to be within the Skype session with the courtroom once they dominated in opposition to me, so I knew a loss of life warrant would come and I’d be despatched to “loss of life watch.” That’s what they name a separate space of loss of life row for these with dates.

As I packed up my cell, I pulled out my composition e-book and tried to put in writing one thing, however couldn’t consider something. Finally, I discovered myself writing down the phrases “holy floor.” I didn’t know why.

A couple of week later, I used to be moved to loss of life watch and mopped the flooring with my hand and a rag. The lights from the hallway mirrored off the ground, so it appeared prefer it was waxed. I laid out on the cot and once more had this sense of God telling me, “That is holy floor as a result of that is the place you’re alleged to be.” Two days later, a volunteer pastor got here in to do a worship service on loss of life row, and stated, “We’ve obtained a brand new music for you, it’s referred to as ‘Holy Floor.’” So all of this felt like a theme that stored arising, a way that I used to be on holy floor as a result of I had a goal.

What did you’re feeling was your goal?

Once I was first locked up in a county jail, in 2001, I believed, Wow. I’m lastly freed from the medication and alcohol and might discover a means out mentally. Once I obtained to loss of life row, being stigmatized as a menace to society made me wish to change, to assist others and myself.

Loss of life row breeds anxiousness. Every of us faces himself and has a alternative of whether or not to thrive or deteriorate. Some guys, even these with a number of schooling, lose their minds — perhaps as a consequence of paranoia, medication, complacency — and so that you make it a precedence to be there for them. The best phrase you possibly can be taught in a spot like that is ‘out there.’ To assist others preserve their psychological capability and construct relationships with their very own family members. Freedom isn’t a spot; you discover freedom internally by religion. I spotted you may be simply as incarcerated, on a religious degree, exterior the jail.

On loss of life watch, how did your life change?

I’ve been on loss of life row 18 years, and I knew if I let something change my routine, I’d be letting myself be affected by issues exterior my management. I rise up round 4 a.m., drink very robust espresso, hearken to a set of my favourite worship songs, pray, learn my Bible, do pushups or squats, and discuss to the blokes in close by cells. Generally socializing is therapeutic: I bear in mind one dialog the place I forgot about being on loss of life watch. Once I get cellphone calls or visits, I discuss to my relations and associates.

It sounds just a little like being a monk.

I’m not shaving my head, although!

How did your loved ones and associates react to your execution date?

I’ve a small group of associates exterior jail who I belief will assist my relations cope with the loss. I’ve tried to arrange them, however I do know it’s going to harm.

I even have associates among the many officers. I’ve seen a shift within the mindset of the administration, away from the outdated punitive angle. One lady comes each Sunday to my cell and says, “I’m right here to test on my little shrimp.”

Then the opposite day I had two exterior visits in a day. An officer within the visitation space joked that I ought to convey a mattress and simply keep there as a consequence of all of the visits, and I stated, as a joke, “Properly, in two weeks you received’t want to fret about that, since I’ll be gone!” She obtained stern and stated, “By no means say that once more. Don’t discuss that means round us.” I used to be stunned, as a result of I believed everybody knew my humorousness, however it was additionally validating: It confirmed that my relationships with these individuals are actual.

Excessive circumstances breed a morbid humorousness. I’ve seen it amongst legal professionals and journalists.

I’ll say to 1 man, “Hey whenever you die, can I get your headphones?” And another person will chime in: “Wait, you’re going to die earlier than him!” It will get a lot worse than that. However I believe it’s regular for us.

You’ve gotten some selections forward of the execution: Who to ask as witnesses, and what to say in a last assertion. How are you fascinated with these selections?

I’ve tried to put in writing a speech. It doesn’t work. Clearly, it is going to be an apology to the household of the sufferer, Bridget Townsend, however I need it to sound honest, not scripted. So I pray God will give me the phrases, and I hope it’s honest sufficient for them to at the least settle for the apology. I don’t know that there will likely be any closure for them in watching me die, however I hope it’s sufficient to assist them start a journey.

I’ll have my religious advisor Bri-anne Swan within the chamber with me, and there’s no person else I can think about there. We’ve been corresponding since 2014. For the witness room, I’ve picked individuals with a watch in the direction of legacy — what I’ll depart behind. So for instance, considered one of my protection legal professionals coming is fairly younger, and I believe this will likely be gas to the fireplace for her, strengthening her spirit moderately than breaking it, so she will struggle tougher for different guys, to cease their executions.

The jail system has made it potential so that you can search rehabilitation in a faith-based program. How do you sq. that with them executing you?

I believe there’s a conservative, evangelical set of people that have misconstrued how the Bible talks about capital punishment. In Romans 13 there’s a passage that may be translated as, “The federal government doesn’t wield the sword in useless to him who practices evil.”

However within the unique Greek textual content, it’s within the current participle, and I see it as actually speaking about somebody who is a continuing, continuous menace to society. You may interpret it as saying God desires the state to hunt each different, to attempt to rehabilitate this particular person, and solely then are you able to wield that authority. However God doesn’t say, “Do it.” As a result of clearly, love and mercy and style are higher. Some conservative Christians have taken it upon themselves to misconstrue these passages for political good points.

Your expertise is formed by tensions in our society: We haven’t settled on whether or not to punish individuals or rehabilitate, whether or not we select cruelty or mercy.

I believe in the end the state is afraid to acknowledge the truth that we may be rehabilitated and be a contribution to society from jail — as a result of it goes in opposition to how they prosecuted us, how they labeled us in courtroom as menaces to society. Admitting that mistake would open up a Pandora’s field within the judicial system. I want they’d be sincere and say: “We screwed up. Folks may be rehabilitated.” Nevertheless it’s onerous to confess your errors, particularly when politics are concerned.

Will the loss of life penalty ever disappear?

I’ve come to suppose that each one the individuals working to abolish the loss of life penalty exterior the jail could not have as a lot affect or influence as we’ve inside. When you may get everybody on loss of life row to be a graduate of one thing just like the faith-based program, to show they’ll contribute to society, then perhaps we are able to turn into the vessels for the loss of life penalty going away.